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Men with a Mission: DM-testing-zone
 
 
By: Wouter van de Zandschulp

Welcome you all to the big DM-Testing-Zone! Today we will see if the following people are well fit to one day become the Dungeon Master of an adventurers party.
Today we have: someone who cannot stop throwing Magic Missiles while DM-ing, someone who does not want to DM, someone who has a lousy sense of his setting. Enjoy.

Our first contestant is the DM who cannot stop throwing Magic Missiles at his own party. DM, your party is inside a bar with the presence of an irritating fanatic gnome-tinker druid, a drink-happy fighter Dwarf and a brave human paladin. They have just arrived this bar.
"Okay. Party, an elderly wizard chap enters the bar" the DM says.
"How does he look?" the Dwarf asks.
"Typical wizard. Use your imagination. Hat, staff, you know... just all the stereotypical wizard stuff. He throws 5 Magic Missiles at you in the bar."
"Inside the bar?"
"Yes. He keeps throwing them until you ALL DIE. YOU ALL DIE, PUNY WURMS!!! FEEL THE POWER MANIFESTED IN MY SUPER-NPC BY ME, THE ALL-POWERFULL DM!! WHOEHOEHAHAHA!"
Okay, our first contestant can stop now. He is rated evil enough, though he has not passed since he sound defeated the party-members a bit slower, stretched out over some sort of a story."

Our second contestant is the DM who does not want to DM.
DM, your party is inside a bar with the presence of an irritating fanatic gnome-tinker druid, a drink-happy fighter Dwarf and a brave human paladin. The have just arrived this bar.
"What do I care? I don't want to be here! Get away from me you all!"
"But we want to role-play!"
"We want to role-play, we want to role-play, who am I, your mother? Grow up and get away from me!"
(Throws his dices as a distraction and makes a run for it)
Okay, our second contestant has found a useful way for a DM to get some power over the players with throwing dices at them, although the part of the adventure-story missed here as a whole. He did not pass.

Our final contestant today is the DM with a lousy sense of setting.
DM, your party is inside a bar with the presence of an irritating fanatic gnome-tinker druid, a drink-happy fighter Dwarf and a brave human paladin. The have just arrived this bar.
"Okay. Dwarf, your cell-phone goes off."
"Ehm... I ask... what kind of magic is this?" the Dwarf asks.
"I look at it with great interest" the gnome says.
"Will you trade it for a drink?" the Dwarf asks.
"The barkeeper," the DM continues, "who is none other than George Bush jr., says: "Hey, those mobile phones are not allowed here. Will you put that thing to rest or you will not get any drinks, shorty."
The Dwarf panics but does not understand the mechanical device so he can't turn it us. He takes his axe and slashes the phone numerous times.
"The phone went off," the DM tells. The whole party sighs in relief.
"Too bad you now never will know what your mission was," the DM concludes.
Our final contestant sadly got most of a story, but it was very out of place and pointless. Not one of the DM's past the test today in our new DM testing zone. Do YOU think you can be released upon an adventurer party? Are you evil enough to turn monsters against party-members, hide out after your screen and frighten players simply by throwing dices and writing stuff down with the danger of killing the fruits of their minds; their characters? Then maybe YOU will be the first one to pass the DM testing zone.
(Detour maps are for sale in the front lobby)

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